OPINION
I love going to the parks. My family and I go all the time. There’s so much to do and see. So much to experience and enjoy. That’s why I contribute to this website.
However…
Another perk of writing for this website is getting to vent in opinion pieces. Let me tell you, there is one thing about going to the parks that I cannot stand. It’s something that happens all the time. And, oh boy, am I going to vent about it.
You’re probably thinking it’s the hot weather. Florida is hot, it’s true. But I can deal with heat. Maybe you’re thinking it’s the parking lots. I mean, could they be any farther from the entrance? Eh, walking is good exercise. Most of you would wager it’s the crowds. You’re getting closer. But it’s not the crowds themselves that get on my nerves.
I’ll give you a hint. It’s something that happens when you’re just walking around.
How many of you have been to the parks, traversing a walkway or path, when suddenly… unexpectedly… the people in front of you just stop. In their tracks. Right in front of you. Do they really need to check their phone right that moment? Or stop to talk? Or do whatever? They can’t be bothered to move to the side and let others by?
I’ve been caught in this situation more times than I care to count. I wouldn’t mind if I could just walk around them, but, you’ve been to the parks. Those walkways are jam packed. The only option is to just stand and wait politely until they notice you and move aside. I know they don’t do it to be rude. And life is not so short that I can’t afford to be patient. But it just happens so often.
I do have a solution, though. And it’s not a nice one. And it’s not something that I would ever seriously do. But, boy, is it fun to imagine.
I joke to my wife that one day I’m going to bring one of those air horns with me. You know, the kind that come in a can and are obscenely loud. The ones that annoying sports fans use that blow out the eardrums of everyone around them. Just picture it, though. Someone stops in front of you. You have to stop on a dime just to avoid ramming into them, and they don’t even notice you. So you quietly pull out your cacophony in a can and let it rip. Yes!
I mean it when I say I would never actually do it. Even if I did, I would feel tremendously guilty about it. It would also make me the bad guy. Not to mention the theme park would probably ban me for life.
So the next time it happens, I’ll just have to settle for the mental picture of my imaginary air horn clearing my way.